I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
