And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wanna go halves on a baby?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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