sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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