Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
