You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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