should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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