Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
