If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
