It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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