dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night