we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again