I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
