where does the pee come out of this thing
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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