Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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