My hand turned me down
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize