After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize