Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
