I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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