We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i drank out of a bidet.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
