garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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