He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
