Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
