Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
