Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
zippers are such a cool invention
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
