is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
