You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
