Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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