I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
