Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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