This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
