yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
