Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize