it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dicks are not precious.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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