it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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