wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
