so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
