I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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