The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
