You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
