i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
