Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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