office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
