she looked like the before picture.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
