Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
