Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
