that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
