Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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(716): View more from New York

He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid

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(760): View more from California

when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho

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(971): View more from Oregon

Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.

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