we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
