hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize