Got a toothbrush?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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