Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize