Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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