i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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