is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
