Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
