You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
