Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
