you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
