well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
