the day after is always just damage control
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
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Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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