How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
