Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
