Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
