I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
