U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
