I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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