What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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